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What if My Spouse & I Die Together? Who Will Care For Our Minor Children?



Q.        If my spouse and I die together, where would our children live for the first day or week or month until a judge can determine who will be their guardian? What if there are relatives we absolutely don’t want them to live with, even temporarily?

A.        There is no simple answer to your question because where your children would live depends on when you die and where your children are when you die.

For instance, you and your spouse may be with your children when you both die, thereby leaving them without immediate supervision. Or your children may be at day care, at school, or with a babysitter, and that means the supervision they are receiving would soon be coming to an end. In these types of situations, it is likely that the police will show up and take charge.

The police would allow your children to be placed in the care of a relative or friend as long as they are convinced that person is not unfit to care for the children. The police can use the computer in their car to obtain this type of information. For instance, a relative who has a criminal record would probably not be allowed to take the children.

If your children are old enough to tell the police who to call, the police would likely do so and attempt to leave the children with the proper party. But if your children are too young to know phone numbers, addresses, or even complete names, or if no temporary guardian is available, then the police would take your children to Child Protective Services (CPS).

CPS would care for your children until a suitable family member or friend is located. CPS may place your children in foster care, if necessary, until a judge determines who the permanent guardian will be.

It may be the case that your children are already in the care of a relative or close friend when you both die. In such a situation, the police and CPS may never get involved with the care of the children. Instead, the children would most likely remain with that family until a judge makes a determination as to permanent guardianship.

You mentioned that there may be relatives you don’t want your children to live with, even for a brief period. The problem is that if the police don’t know how you feel, and if the relative otherwise checks out, the children may be placed in that person’s temporary care. Unfortunately, it is too often the case that relatives want to control the children’s inheritance, and they know funds will be available if they are acting as guardians.

You could prepare a witnessed and notarized document stating your intention regarding who you do and do not want to serve as guardian. In fact, that information is often contained in a person’s will. But the problem is that this document will probably not be available when it’s needed. Most people don’t think to send their kids to school, daycare, or a friend’s house with a copy of their will or other legal documents, and even if they did, the police may not be inclined to rely on the document’s validity.

If the police show up and several relatives or friends demand to take care of the children, the police will most likely not make a choice between them, but will instead deliver the children to CPS. An investigation will then be conducted by CPS to determine who is most suitable to take care of the children until a guardian is formally named by the court.

You should be sure to state in your will who you want to serve as the guardian of your children in the event you and your spouse pass away before your children are legal adults–age 18 in Texas. You can name any person you want, and you can also provide a list of persons in order of preference. You can even name two persons to serve, but they must be married to each other.

Please note the answer to your question may be different if you don’t live in a large Texas city.

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