Blogs from August, 2019

Death avoidance permeates our culture. More than 50% of our neighbors don’t have an estate plan in place detailing distribution of assets let alone any written funeral and/or burial instructions. We, as a culture, hate to admit that we are getting older and do NOT want to talk about what to do when we pass away. This avoidance leaves a heavy burden on the shoulders of those who survive us. 

I have seen many grieving loved ones be overwhelmed with the practicalities of planning a memorial service or funeral. Part of Crain & Wooley’s comprehensive estate planning approach is to provide you with the tools needed to communicate very detailed instructions on how to celebrate your life. Leaving these guideposts allows your friends and family to share memories and comfort one another rather than bickering about where to hold the service and what flowers to purchase (if any!).

Because so few people leave instructions, there is a growing sector of the economy focusing on end-of-life events. The event planning industry is stepping in to fill the gap left by those who pass away without an estate plan in place. Learn from professional planners by reading Life lessons From an End-of-Life Event Planner.

Partnering with a skilled estate planning attorney allows you to not only craft a plan that distributes assets but shares your desires on how to be remembered. 

Who is on first? What’s on second? Who all needs to be involved in writing an estate plan? Partnering with a highly qualified attorney is paramount when crafting a plan that disposes of your assets, plans for your medical care and strategizes for the care of children and grandchildren. Beyond your attorney, it is your choice on who to involve. Here are some people to consider inviting to participate in the process.

1. Your executor(s) or successor trustee(s). These people are the ones who will be charged with carrying out your wishes. Inviting them to your document signing meeting is a great way for them to hear, from your attorney, how your estate plan works and learn more about the part they will play.
2. Medical Power of Attorney. Once you have selected your medical agent(s), it is of utmost importance that they understand how to make medical decisions. Sharing information with them about your healthcare wishes and medical history will empower them to confidently make decisions on your behalf. 
3. Durable Power of Attorney. A Durable (financial) agent needs to know a bit more about your financial interests than the average family member or friend. Allowing this person “inside” your financial decision-making matrix permits them to carry on your financial legacy in the best interest of you and your beneficiaries. 
4. Beneficiaries. Only you will know the best way to approach your beneficiaries. I do suggest that at some high-level your adult beneficiaries understand your wishes. This will save heartache and potential disappointment down the road.

Don’t settle for a canned plan. By working with Crain & Wooley, you will receive a customized plan designed to meet your specific goals – including facilitating conversations with those named in your plan.

Life has very few guarantees. Paying taxes and dying are two guarantees that impact every single person no matter gender, socio-economic status, religion or ethnicity. We pay taxes every year and talk about how much we like or dislike taxes with just about anyone who will listen. Yet, we often find it difficult to talk with our loved ones about the need to prepare for passing away. This hesitancy then begs the question, “How do I talk with my (husband/wife, partner, sibling, child, mother/father…you fill in the blank) about estate planning?”.

Through my years of working 1:1 with families, I have gathered a few pointers that make talking about writing a will or trust a little bit easier.

1. Educate yourself. Don’t rely on urban legends and half-truths to formulate your own thoughts about estate planning. Read blogs (like this one!) from trusted sources or listen to interviews such as Why Not Talk About Death.
2. Put aside self-interest. Yes, you may really want Grandma’s wedding ring, but approaching the topic of estate planning out of self-interest rarely goes well.
3. Practice/role-play.Before beginning this conversation in earnest, rehearse what you would like to say with a friend or confidant. Let them give you feedback on your tone, body language, and content. It might even be a good idea to write down a few salient points so that you don’t get off-track.
4. Ask permission. No one likes to be forced to do anything. Asking permission to start the conversation goes a long way in creating a safe environment for honest communication.
5. Have realistic expectations. Don’t expect someone to go from “zero” to “let’s talk with an attorney” in one conversation. It may happen that way, but it may not. View this as an ongoing discussion.
6. Chose a safe place. Chose a place that makes you and the other party comfortable. For example, take a walk. Sometimes, it is easier to have hard discussions while NOT sitting eye-to-eye with someone. An activity or location in which both parties feel safe creates a positive atmosphere.
7. Select an attorney.Just like the medical field, there are generalists and specialists in the legal arena. Working with an attorney whose sole focus is estate planning ensures that you and your loved ones receive relevant and accurate service. Believe it or not, there is more to estate planning than writing a few thoughts on the back of a napkin!

Once your loved one is ready to get started on their will or trust, have them schedule a consultation with Crain & Wooley. Working with us means that you and your loved ones receive best-in-class service provided by highly skilled estate planning attorneys.